“The Talk” with your Adolescent
The Birds and the Bees is the conversation that many parents dread but one that can make a difference for many teens. This conversation isn’t just about intercourse but should also include sex-related topics like relationships, HIV, and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). As a parent, you can make a difference by creating an open line of communication between you and your child.
It’s helpful to know the conversation about sex and sex-related topics shouldn’t be a one-and-done conversation. Rather, the conversation is about education over time. It might get more detailed and involved as your child develops. As a parent, you know your child best and their needs. Every kid is different, so every talk will be different.
Some topics parents should consider include:
Puberty and their changing bodies
Healthy relationships
Expectations you have and expectations they have for themselves
Facts about HIV and STIs
Pregnancy prevention
Parents can begin the conversation about sex by finding times that would be appropriate to talk to their teen in a private environment. Some viable options can be in the car, at home, or during a quiet morning together. You might consider a car ride with your child. This option is not a face-to-face interaction and provides privacy for a conversation that might be uncomfortable for a child and possibly a parent. Finding the location that best suits the communication style for your family is most important.
Parents should also consider when to engage in these conversations with a child. Each parent knows their own child's level of maturity, and situational needs, and can assess age appropriateness. While some children may ask questions and be curious about their bodies or sexually-related topics others may never bring up a conversation of this nature.
Many times these conversations can happen quite organically for parents.
Find teachable moments: Teachable moments are a great way to keep the conversation natural. These moments can take some pressure off the importance of the topic, too. Utilizing television shows, movies, books, or other mediums is an easy way to start a conversation in a more comfortable, natural way. These seemingly unrelated sources of information can trigger great conversations between you and your child.
A child may bring it up before you are ready. It’s okay to not have all the answers. Often, your child may bring it up unexpectedly. First, let your child know you are glad they asked and that you want to have the conversation soon. This gives you some time to do more research and bring the topic up when you are more mentally ready to talk about it again.
Having a conversation with your child about sex can be uncomfortable. It is important to create a welcoming and safe space for them to turn to when they have questions.
We hope you find these tips helpful in making your conversation about sex go a little smoother. You can find more information on the CDC website.